How to Happily Push Through your Comfort Zone
This post features the short speech I gave during my online meet up event last Friday. It was the first time I had hosted an online event and I felt so nervous. I’m used to my in person meet ups, I’m much better when I’m around people as digital chats scare me quite a bit.
It seems very apt then, that my speech was how I push through my comfort zone. I’ve really felt the benefits of finding that medium place between boredom and fear. If you like the sound of Grounded Creatives meet ups you can join the private Facebook support group here.
I remember my head teacher in secondary school doing an assembly on why it’s important to push ourselves out of our comfort zones. The comfort zone is a state in which one feels familiar, safe, at ease, and secure. and my 11-year-old self thought “that sounds lovely, whats wrong with that?!
As children, we want to feel safe and secure. I grew up very quietly. I’m an introvert, I have anxiety, a panic disorder and situational depression. Stepping out of my comfort zone is literally my worst nightmare!
But. I got pregnant, moved to the other end of the country. Left my work, all my friends, my nice flat, my beautiful neighbourhood. Literally everything in my life (apart from Simon) changed. It made me feel terrified and anxious. Neither of us had jobs, and the baby was coming.
We’ve had months and months of me being the sole earner and pretty much the main caregiver to our daughter. When we moved into our flat, Peggy was 5 months old. Peak sleepless nights age! I didn’t get more than 2 hours night. I was working flat-out, saying yes to any work that came my way, and my depression was really bad. That was way too far out of my comfort zone. Those first 9 months of moving from London to Newcastle were hard, very hard.
However, living in London, a city that I liked but didn’t love. Plodding along with our nice little lives, in jobs that were ok but not inspirational or particularly well paid. Only having ourselves to look after. That was my comfort zone. Moving, and changing everything about our lives was way too far in the other direction.
So what have I learnt? Well, I’ve learnt to say no to some work. I’ve learnt that I need a nice, pretty, little home, but I’ve also learnt that I need a challenge. I need to solve problems to avoid that “meh” feeling.
When covid-19 properly hit us here in the UK I began to feel like things were changing all over again. Simon had a job at this point but we were preparing for the worst. I decided to self isolate with Peggy before the government recommended it as I needed to feel in control. I was stuck in the house with a small baby, my clients were all cancelling, and Simon eventually lost his job without pay of any kind.
I had to turn it around, I couldn’t feel that bad again. We took control. We had lots of family time, we made nice lunches, we went for walks, we picked wild flowers, we watched our daughter grow, I did work when I could, and let the rest go. We got used to living life freely, it became a wonderful experience that I remember forever.
Simon got offered a job two weeks ago. I’m alone raising Peggy again and trying to juggle work but I know it will be ok, because I’ve done it before.
I now know that when I get too far out of my comfort zone I need to take a few days off and “just” be a mum for Peggy. I also know that when I feel bored, listless like I’m not doing enough - it’s time to push myself into the unknown (just a little bit!).
“Real change is difficult at the beginning, but gorgeous at the end. Change begins the moment you get the courage and step outside your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
― Roy T. Bennett
Hi I'm Nancy!
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