My Pregnancy Journey - The First Trimester
It’s time for part two in my pregnancy diary and as you’ve read the back story (please click here if you haven’t seen the first post) I wanted to cover my first trimester. In the interest of full disclosure my experience was mainly negative so if you’re struggling you’re not alone!
I will be speaking very openly about my experience and it may seem a little grim. I’m still very shocked at some people’s reaction to me being so ill and I think it’s important to discuss these issues. Pregnancy isn’t always a beautiful, glowing happy experience. Saying that, I am so happy to be pregnant.
I mentioned in my previous post that I began to feel pregnancy symptoms very early on. Maybe I’m in tune with my body? Even after taking an early pregnancy test and it being negative I still knew I was pregnant due to how I was feeling. Early signs were cramping in my lower back, which I always get with my period, and mild nausea. I was actually feeling pretty good at this point of the pregnancy and feeling pretty cocky. I remember thinking “if this is what morning sickness is I’m going to be absolutely fine”. Spoiler - it got MUCH MUCH worse.
As soon as week 6 hit I felt absolutely awful. I’ve never felt so ill in my life. The nausea hit me like a ton of bricks and it’s not like any kind of sickness I’ve experienced before (and I had alcohol poisoning when I was a teen!). The best way I can describe it is imagine the worst hangover you’ve ever experienced, the kind when you want to curl up into a ball and disappear, and times that by one hundred. That still doesn’t really cut it.
I had my flu jab around week 7 and that really knocked me down. Combined with the morning sickness I was throwing up every 15 minutes. Every time I put something in my mouth, even water, I would throw it straight back up. During this time I went back home to see my mum and I spent over a week laying in bed crying over how terrible I felt. So many people were wondering what was wrong but I wasn’t able to tell anyone.
You can see in my Instagram posts how I eluded to being really ill.
When I arrived at my mums we booked a doctors appointment as I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything in two days and I was close to being dangerously dehydrated. I was almost sent to hospital to be put on a drip but thank goodness the medication I was put on took the edge off the nausea so I could drink a small amount.
Being so sick really affected my life for over two months. When I was really ill I could barely walk or get out of bed and daily tasks like showering were so difficult. I felt incredibly lonely but felt as though I couldn’t talk about it as I was meant to be happy and grateful all the time. The only people who saw how ill I really was were Simon and my mum. When I did have the energy to be with my friends all I wanted was to act “normal” and not complain, no-one really knew how bad I felt.
As there are people who suffer with terrible illnesses without the happy news of being pregnant I would feel awkward and guilty if I complained. A lot of the time I was greeted with the attitude of “you’re not grateful enough to be pregnant” so most of the time I just shut up.
At my lowest I felt incredibly isolated and lonely. I couldn’t do any of the things I was used to doing and I was also being guilted to feel as if my emotions weren’t valid. Unlike a non-pregnant sick person who may feel supported by people I felt as though I was being punished for speaking out about how difficult it was for me to be pregnant.
12 weeks and beyond were a little better. I was still regularly throwing up but I began to recognise how important is was to focus on me, a lesson I learnt during a trip to New York with Simon. The day before we were due to fly I almost cancelled the trip. I had spent all day throwing up and I only just managed to pack a suitcase! Simon gave me a pep talk and we prepped some homemade sick bags for the journey. At 5am we were off to the airport and I just about held it together. Once we were in NY I made a pledge to myself that I was going to do whatever I wanted and it was ok if Simon needed to go off and do his own thing without me.
We ended up having such a fun and chilled trip. Thank goodness that I have such a wonderful husband who was willing to follow my pregnant lady routine for five days! We ate whenever and whatever I needed, we got cabs everywhere as I couldn’t really walk, we had early nights and easy mornings. The trip taught me so much about self care and I didn’t throw up the entire time I was there.
At week 13 we also had our first scan and got to see our baby for the first time which was just so incredible. Simon and I can’t wait to see it again next week and feeling it wriggling around makes all the pain so worthwhile. Despite having a pretty hard time of it I still love being pregnant, something which even I find confusing!
My Main Symptoms
Gas (so much gas!)
Tummy, back, hip and pelvis pain
Restless leg syndrome (so annoying!)
Very dry skin and hair
My symptoms seem to change everyday, except for the nausea, so I’m not experiencing all of these at once!
In the next post I’ll be covering my second trimester, which as been SO MUCH BETTER. I’m still regularly throwing up but second trimester nausea is an entirely different beast and it actually goes away when I throw up. A revelation!
Hi I'm Nancy!
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